I got sent to Rehab for being gay

Graves · Active Member

RE: I got sent to Rehab for being gay

Kio kun · Active Member

Not only that, there are also private clinics/therapists where parents leave their kids if they want to make sure that the kids are "fixed" for good... one on one time with a shrink who tells you your mind is busted and needs to be reprogrammed... fun. *sarcasm*

Gothic_Pheonix · Lurker

Tjose type of places should be outlawed and illegal. We're gonna get a new pres soon, and hopefully he or she can fix the mistakes Bush made.

Kio kun · Active Member

They should be outlawed... outlawed, banned, and fined for being cruel, opressive and undemocratic (stupid politics class), sadly, there are a large number of people who think that putting kids in there is nessesary or some other garbage like that, like my parents and Darkside's parents, and a gazillion other kid's parents

-- Edited by Kio kun at 04:24, 2008-01-24

Gothic_Pheonix · Lurker

That sucks. How are you today?

LadyTwilight · Senior Member

This kind of practice is just...disgustingly cruel. And that parents like that not only exist, but abound, that just feels way wrong....it's horrifying to see the conviction that it's a bad, bad thing affect even parents' feelings for their children...

On the plus side, it seems more commonly O.K. to be out compared to, like, 20 years ago (note: wasn't alive then, not first-hand)...but then, it also seems that for every person supportive, there's someone who isn't and another who's just...aggressive towards it. Here's hoping for a wave of change with the new president?

NyaChan · Active Member

Kio kun wrote:

Not only that, there are also private clinics/therapists where parents leave their kids if they want to make sure that the kids are "fixed" for good... one on one time with a shrink who tells you your mind is busted and needs to be reprogrammed... fun. *sarcasm*

Gosh. That's insane. My parents sent me to a Therapist once, I don't remember why I went or what she said though. She had me draw though. >__>;;; Which actually was a bad idea, because when I draw, I forget the world. =3

This is a reason I'm glad my parents don't care. We have family friends who are gay and come to the Christmas Party (No joke). My parents themselves have said that they would perfer me to be straight, but they won't hate me if I'm not. Nor will they do anything try and "fix" me. (And if they did, I would yell at them for going back on their word... but I'm still not sure on my sexuality just yet. >___<)

It's ridiculous that stuff like this happens. I understand people can be afriad of things. Fine, be afraid of homosexuals. It's the person's problem. What they have to do is accept that it exsists and they can't change that. Like, for example, I'm afraid of spiders. Yet I know the exsist and accept it. I can't change the fact the exsist (However, I can change it within the house), and deal with it.

Seriously, since when did "Face your fears" get thrown out the window?

Kio kun · Active Member

Apparently, it got thrown out a long time ago.

That, and respect the opinions and ideas of others.

darkside · Senior Member

sorry i have not said something in a really long time my bad but yeah alot of times these kinda of place destroy your mind and it hurts that your parents would do something like this

Kio kun · Active Member

Parents can be jerks, they really can be.

Then again, therepists that work only to try to "fix" teenagers are insane, and church-run anti-gay camps are evil... it sounds like Hitler's consentration camps!

Serafer · Lurker

I thought homosexual rehabilitation centers were a myth but I guess not. The existance of such place truly saddens me;however, I believe that we should not blame the parents' love but the society's stupidity. Think about it. If your parents don't care about their child, would they feed or cloth that child?

The sole possible reason I can think of and which sounds reasonable enough for me for sending their child to such places is because they care a lot about their child but because of society (I think in ancient time,someone who was having a same-sex relationship got dumped, so s/he decided every gay people should be condamned. >.> Maybe), they are "forced" to find ways like this to help their child as a last resort so their kid won't be hurt by the society in the future.

The parents are just trying to protect their child; it is never their intention to hurt them (whereas those who purposely hit or molest their children should be burned!).

Indeed, we still have a long way before homosexuality will truely join the rank of normality but if we look back at our history, we have indubitably changed from worse to better. What we can do now it's to stay strong and proud! :)

-- Edited by Serafer at 00:16, 2008-02-07

Myotis · Lurker

...I'd like to say, "Shall I destroy them?", but I unfortunately possess no such power. Those places can only be called a monstrosity.

LadyTwilight · Senior Member

Serafer, I agree with you 100% that it's the only reasonable explaination...but I don't think it's the only explaination. I've heard of many kids who've been kicked out by their parents because of their sexuality or gender identity...

My theory?
Part of these are the parents whose self-image of what their children are cannot be reconciled with who their children are saying they are.
Part of these are the parents who really believe it's wrong to be GLBTO.
Part of these are the parents who believe it's a choice to be GLBTO (whether it is or not shouldn't matter, but then, it could be grouped among the choice to drink/smoke/do drugs in some peoples' brains)
Part of these are the parents whose self-image of their family is threatened by/cannot be reconciled with who their children are saying they are. (symptoms include the phrases "What are we going to tell your grandmother/my boss/our neighbor we're passively one-upping)
Part of these are the parents that just panic and want things to return to what they were before, because it's 'easier' than adjusting to this new information.

Really, I think a lot of them are, as you say, attempting to protect their children. If that were the only reason, I think we could solve this whole paradigm a lot faster and easier.

What the comparative ratios are between each reasoning? How much space each of these occupies on a pie chart? I don't have a clue, I don't think I'll ever know. I just wish these places didn't exist. Very badly. And I haven't even been in one.

PS: if anyone /has/ been in one in wester Pennsylvania, I will put out an offer of nearly-free hugs. Nearly free because the costs are a cookie a hug, and buy one hug, get one free.

NyaChan · Active Member

Wow. <333 Serafer & LadyTwilight, I'm giving you intarweb huggles and cookies. =3 Made of win.

While I agree with the points though, protecting the child by sending the to rehab for being homosexual can actually do more harm then good. Honestly, they're trying to change something that there's nothing they could do about. Think about it thnough, if the child they're trying to 'fix' really does love whoever it is, do they really think they can change that? Love happens as it happens. You can't change it. While people think it's a choice, let me phrase it like something I heard from an assembly at school...

You don't wake up that morning and go "Hey, I wanna be gay today."

Honestly, if it's a choice it would be like that. But it's not. It just happens. Some call it destiny or fortunes, but it's just life.

... and About the self image thing... Parents wanting to worry about what other people think is stupid. If the child doesn't care about telling people, then why should the parents? But on top of that, it shouldn't be the parents spreading this news, it should be the child themself. They should be the ones who confide in people about this. It shouldn't be common knowledge unless they want it to be.

I can understand wanting to return to 'normalcy', but in the end, what is normal? While it may seem easier to try and change the child, it really isn't. It can cause even more problems with them in the end. Thus, in the long run, it's better to just accept it, and realize there's nothing that can be done.

However... While my philosophy is to not care what others think... subconciously I do. And while I don't care who I fall in love with, I sometimes wonder what'll happen to my friendships because of it. And when I think about it... My grandmother (Mother's side) would probably have a fit. xD She has a fit over my half pink hair (Dyed the tips of my 3-feet long blonde hair hot pink~), and I highly doubt me being anything other the straight as a ruler would cause yet another fit. ... Not like I like her as grandma anyways. Kinda really don't like her (Which, I realize sounds cruel, but it's true.) She finds the stupidest things to nitpick on me. xP

... and man, I swear I don't sound like a 16-year-old in half that post. xD

edit: and I really should join my school's GSA sometime. Seriously. xD;;; It's sad that I haven't yet.

-- Edited by NyaChan at 00:46, 2008-02-12

darkside · Senior Member

Okay i kinda get what your saying but its hard on someone if your parents send you to one of these i mean its like they are sying your not good enough you need help you need to be someone your not and that is when it gets hurtful and thats when alot of times they dont see a parents love....because at forst they say hey you can tell me anything and i will except you for you but then when you show them the true you they dont like it and that is when it starts to hurt people emotinally anyway

Serafer · Lurker

Darkside, I know is hard for you to withstand such treatment from your parents. This is why I'm saying all this so you can see the other side of the story in order to reduce your sadness. On the long run, it's never good to stick on one side and neglect the "brighter" side. We always get hurt. All the time. Whether you are straight or gay, male or female; without proper communication between any parties or acknowledgment of people's differences, there are problems. But we cannot just stick forever around those problems. In order make our days easier before we have the power to influence things around us, we need to see the other side of the problems so this way, we can still see there is still hope to make things better.

LadyTwilight, I agree that there are still folks around the world who kick their child out of their house but I was reasoning around the question of why parents send their child to a rehab; however, I do agree with your theories. May I ask why you think parents act like this? Why they think that GLBTO is abnormal and they care so much about this so-called "self-image"? Societies. For generation, societies has taught us how we should behave, how to think: by walking away from the routine, it makes you abnormal. Our grand-parents are taught that a family consists of a male and female. In turns, our parents are taught by our grand-parents about the customs.

All I'm saying is that I believe it's not entirely the parent's fault; there is a much bigger culprit. As Brian K. Vaughan said, "...only villains try to change the whole world. The rest of us takes one person at a time." With that in mind, when I have the money, I hope I can open a center one day to accommodate those less fortunate.

-- Edited by Serafer at 03:44, 2008-02-13

-- Edited by Serafer at 03:44, 2008-02-13

LadyTwilight · Senior Member

so much to respond to...*quails*
Nya-chan, darkie, Serafer, great posts! It's a bit late to think up full responses to all that, so I'll quote a couple stuffs, apologies if it i'n't enough.

-"You don't wake up that morning and go 'Hey, I wanna be gay today.'"
-"Our grand-parents are taught that a family consists of a male and female. In turns, our parents are taught by our grand-parents about the customs."
-"if your parents send you to one of these, i mean its like they are saying your not good enough, you need help, you need to be someone your not and that is when it gets hurtful"

Between those bits, most especially darkie's, you three've summed up the main points that I think should be told, repeatedly, to anyone that considers these places to be any less than emotionally and mentally dangerous...wish there was som'thing we could doooo....*flail*

N' I would totally try an' donate to that place if you start it up, S. I agree with the societal part wayway much, and also agree on the 'look on the bright side' part, too, though I don't suppose I practice that enough myself...become /way/ too pessimistic recently...x_x

(and I reaally wanna see your hair now, Nya-chan! It sounds so long 'n pretty...;~;)

hope I made some sense, sorries if I di'n't

edit: wewt! huggle and cookie! *huggles back*
*glances side-to-side, then breaks the cookie in half and gives part back*
*devours cookie*

-- Edited by LadyTwilight at 05:45, 2008-02-13

Serafer · Lurker

Lol. LadyTwilight, I'm not that optimist myself. Far from it. As a friend said once, "A pessimist is only an optimist with experience." I do try to see the two sides of a problem whenever I can. Makes it easier to cope with it.

But for the moment.. all I can do is... *gives a virutal hug to everyone*. :)

NyaChan · Active Member

x3 The quote you use I heard in an Assemble least year or the yhear before in school. They are trying to teach kids to not discriminate... however, I end up getting the "ew that's gross" looks when I say I don't care which gender the person is who I fall in love with. And then they ask "But you're still straight, right?" Gragh. So frustrating. (And on top of that, these are people I've been friends with for 3y+ doing this!)

x3 And Here, I cropped it off a Disney/Epcot Piccu. =3 Backshot, and not my house (clearly), so you can't exsactly stalk me that way. xD;;; That's what it looks like why recently dyed anyways. It's fading a bit now. x3 And a little bit shorter, I had to trim off the split ends and crap recently.

LadyTwilight · Senior Member

*Gives E-hugs to Serafer 'n darkie 'n everyone, too!*

hehe, one's friends can be strange like that, I know the feeling, though not the same quote. they're lucky we luff 'em all anyways!
And it would be cool if my school/my old school/every school did stuff like that...though I know there's certainly no lack of issues for asseblies to address, and that assemblies are like, Grade A chances to blow off...Though my friend who lives in Chicago has commented his HS law courses covering GLTBO legal subjects, and this is Chicago, so it can't be that bad, eh? *glances at thread OP post* or maybe it can...we's gotta change the world a piece at a time!

Hauuu~....so loong....that's so cool! *dances* mine's only an inch past my shoulders at most (with a year 'n half of growth! ;~; ), though I know what you mean with the dead/split ends, it feels good to have them trimmed~

Yeah, I'm totally gonna stalk you and break into your house at night so I can play with your hair while you're asleep. (actually, hmm, that's not a bad idea...)

As an afterthought...do you burn through shampoo like no end? *sure I'm mixing phrases*

As a second afterthought...is it bad for me to off-path this thread with other-forum-area content? *winces* Maybe we'd better move to another forum or profile whiteboards...x_x

darkside · Senior Member

i love my parents and i love your hair by the way lol but I dont know really you have to be in this kind of situation i mean i cant say how people feel when they get kicked out of there house for this...but i do thank you all very much for even careing enough to write something down let along read it so thank you all so much

Twedz · Lurker

I realise your stituation is the reverse of mine. My mom is ok with the whole homosexuality thing, so se never really cared and just said do whatever you want just be careful. My dad however already believes my mind is cracked like an egg so if I WERE to tell him I know what he would blame it on ¬.¬

I do love em bothh tho, I just don't like the idea of my dad knowing. In fact, it frightenings the hell outta me.

Jingo · Lurker

Yeah please don't kill yourself!!! T_T I'd miss you even if I don't know you! Stay strong. I think it's utter bs that your parents would do that to you.