the real story of Raine and Lil - with some tweaks and additions for when I posted it as a t.A.T.y fic.







It was indeed that one moment that changed me. Forever changed me...I used to know that "love" was just B.S. It was only an idealistic image over-used by every ****ing person around me. "I love so-and-so! I swear, I've never felt this way before, ever! I love them so much, I would just die for them!"
Yeah. Three months later and they've broken up and now it's "I love this person! I've never felt this way for anyone before..."
I knew there was no such thing as love. At least not in the real world. At least not until you slipped into my life.
How did you change me? How did I let myself be changed..? Why would I do it all again? For you...
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With a flash of your bright red hair and a warm embrace, I wanted you. It was the first time we ever met, but you welcomed me so completely...No one had ever done that to me before. Made me feel so accepted, I mean.
Do you remember how it all happened? It was very gradual, completely unplanned. Completely natural and that's what we loved most about it. We clicked immediately, from the very moment we first met at your favorite pizza place. We just sat there and talked for hours...you, me, and your friends. Oh how you made me feel so welcome. The first time you met me.
We met sporadically through the first several weeks, not very often at all. We always met in innocent places; that pizza place, the mall...I didn't care, as long as I could see you. Did you ever know how addicting you are? I didn't care that I wasn't in love - I wanted you. I wanted everything about you and not just in the sick, perverted way, either. You have the most beautiful voice, do you know that? That was one of the reasons I always liked to have music playing in the car while I drove us to do whatever it was you wanted to do - I just wanted to hear you sing.
It made me feel pitiful, how much I wanted you. I craved any kind of contact with you; be it a hug or the way you'd play with my hair. It's sad, really. I remember the exact moment, the exact sensations that flowed through me the first time you slid your fingers through my short, spiky hair. It sent a shock straight through my body, every nerve standing on end as you gently played with my hair. I was so calm - far more than the atmosphere of the pub we were in would normally allow. The sound of the band playing surrounding us, deafening us and I was so content. That was my first concert, do you remember? The bands were great, too. Even if not many people had really ever heard of them.
I think that night was what changed everything. While we watched the group after your friend's play, we held eachother. My heart was beating so fast right then - could you hear it? Probably not, over the pounding of the set and guitars placed only some odd feet in front of us. While watching them perform was the first time I'd ever even intamitely held hands with someone before, and I'd never even expected it to happen. Why should I? I wasn't in love.
That night was also my first real kiss.
Did I ever tell you how much you kept me grounded? You were the only friend I had that wasn't falling apart...I had to listen to everyone worry about the person they were in love with hurting them everyday. Everyday was a new complaint, a new few, a new reach for sympathy and support. Of course I knew it wasn't every friend of mine, but it seemed like it. Everyone was having "love" problems with the fifth person they've fallen in love with and I just wanted to run. But you understood. When my ex girlfriend at the time was constantly angry at me for not being what she wanted - what she needed then, you understood and didn't judge me for wanting it to end. Oh how I wanted everything to end...All of my friends. How were you the only one to notice how much their pain hurt me as well? You always knew me.
We were such good friends in such a short amount of time. Friends with benefits, I guess was more like it. We never did anything more than kiss, but we still weren't girlfriends and definitely more than just friends. We didn't need a definition. I knew all I needed was you.
And sometimes I would wonder if there really was such a thing as love.
You were always so beautiful, do you know that? Do you remember when we went to the park that one night? You and your friends were showing off your passion for martial arts. It always awed me how strong the three of you were. How strong you three are. I loved sitting there and watching you practice with your sais. A hott redhead with hott weapons - and you looked so fluid with them, completely natural. You amazed me.
And then we'd been together for a month. Friends with benefits only more. But that wasn't cutting it for us. You suggested becoming official and I nearly died of happiness. You'd always had all of me, but suddenly it was real. Hard to explain what I felt.
We lasted for a little while as an official couple until it crumbled and we went back to bening "unofficially together". I guess it made it easier; especially when she came back. I'd never experienced a problem with an ex before, and this became a bad one. I knew you would always love her. She'd meant so much to you for that long while you were together before she left you; I'd never expected you to completely get over her. But I'd also never expected her to want you back.
Then it was finally your boyfriend's 21st birthday. And I don't use the word "boyfriend" lightly. He is so much more to you that just your "boyfriend", he truely is your soul mate. Funny coming from me.
The party was awesome. Many more firsts for me that night. First time I got drunk. First three-way makeout session. First hickies - which really sucked for the short length of hair I had. We were all so wasted, but I remembered everything so clearly. Things almost got too bad to bear when she showed up, however. She wanted you, I could tell. I could feel myself breaking when she held you like that, and so I left.
But you saw.
You followed me.
That was more than anyone else would have ever bothered to do. That alone meant more to me then you ever knew, then you ever could know. But then you held me, and told me you didn't want her back - you didn't want to hurt again. And later you came up to me...you told me how she'd asked to kiss you. You wouldn't without my consent.
I'd never realized until then that you really did care about me.
You two talked for a while later on, and you came back into the house in tears. You were fighting so hard, love, and just didn't know what to do. And I wanted nothing more than to make it all better for you. That night meant so much to me...you were there for me when I cried the day we got too ****ed up for me to risk driving home for work and that night, I was finally able to be there for you. You let me hold you for a little while - until your friends wanted your attention. You felt you had to be strong for them.
You never had to be strong for me.
You always were, though.
That was the first time we got drunk. The second was unbelievably more memorable. The second time we didn't stay at the party the entire time. We stumbled into your bedroom and I had my first taste of you that night. The first taste of what I'd want to experience for the rest of my life. The way we melted into eachother for those few, short hours, striving to complete eachother in every way possible awoke me. I had never lived until you.
After years of knowing there was no such thing as love, you came and mad me wonder. How had you taken the one thing I truely knew away from me? Why did I not want it back?
Will you ever forget the first day of what should have been the beginning of Senior year in highschool for the both of us? You'd transferred to my school because you'd wanted to do better in your studies. Getting to see you every day was just a bonus for me. The day went by fast. The end of the day went by slowly.
We were going to go to McDonald's after school that day, do you remember? We were waiting to cross the street at the light just outside of the school, laughing and talking in the way that came so easily for us. A flash of light caught my attention and time froze. The driver hadn't known it was a turn only lane and continued straight - onto the sidewalk.
No time to think.
Hardly a second passed and you were on the ground, thrown forcefully from the spot in which you were standing with me.
I was beneath that car.
Not enough time to think; not enough time to take my last breath.
There was no such thing as love until I met you. No sane person would have given their life for the one they loved until I did.
I did.










Note: I am not dead. lol mine and Lil's relationship has changed drastically since highschool - so I want to ask everybody to remember that and not try to relate or confuse Taiki's characters' with me and Lil as we are now. of course, her characters will probably have all the undertones of how we are now - because we are us regardless of age - but this story is more or less unrelated to the webcomic.