This was starting to get stupid, or . . . it already had been, or . . . something of that nature.

She really didnt know what to think of it anymore- other than the fact she was getting tired of the thoughts that would hang in the air night after night, teasing her with ideas and wishes that no one should have to sit through as endlessly as she seemed to.  She was done with the hurt and pain, the mild concussion her dreams gave her when she awoke to greet the day, the morning without the one she . . .

Like it was said earlier, this was starting to get really stupid, and she wanted it to just end.  That seemed like the best course of action, and she desperately wished to take that route.  Yet . . . whomever controlled the world, whether it be God or some person with a game controller (and she and everyone else that she knew was just a Sims character in what was deemed as real life), liked to torture her, and she was stuck in this eternal damnation.

The computer screen shimmered before her, the window above it darkened with the end of the day that she had simply moved through with gusto.  A single picture of a smiling young woman dangled at the higher left edge of the screen, and she couldnt help but groan as that never-ending sensation coursed through her every being.  Her left hand caught herself as she felt her head swivel, and she cursed softly as one eye peered through her thin fingers at heaven and hell all at once, leaning on the table in which her computer sat.  She tried to decipher the words that were sprawled about the picture, although she seemed only to give up and allow the squiggles torture her like no other.

Damn her head.  Why did it have to be as confused as it was right then?  She was fine before . . . long ago, and . . . and this, this DAMN PICTURE wouldnt have meant anything to her back then.  But nooo . . . she had to grow up into this person that has a a . . . a . . .

To tell the truth, she was having a hard time admitting to herself what she felt each and every time her eyes caught sight of her, picture or otherwise.  Personally, she felt as though it was better not to admit it at all.  That way, any and all parties in this situation- whether they knew it or not- wouldnt have to worry about having anything they cherished destroyed because of one little truth.

The one thing that she hated above all was that she knew no one could escape their fate for too long.  She knew that this would have to come out, that her feelings would have to be realized, and she would very well have to be upfront about it.

She just didnt want that to be now.  And that was perfectly normal.  Or it would be normal until another solution would be found to cure herself of the strange emotions that rushed through her every being whenever they would accidentally touch, when she would see that secret smile just the two of them shared, or when . . .

Stop.  Thinking.  That was all that she could tell herself right then, still gazing through the openings that her fingers left for her.  Besides, that really was all that she could do in this situation other than the obvious, and THAT decision was one that she would rather keep to herself unless it was critical of her to open up her heart to the one in which she . . .  Stop thinking, damnit!

A part of her wondered if that was even possible nowadays.

Footsteps echoed in the hallway, and she scrambled like a neurotic chicken, reaching for the mouse so to hide her secret obsession.  Yet . . . it seemed as though she wasnt fast enough for the eyes of the one that stood in the doorway.

Hey, Nikki . . . you talking to Taiki again?  His voice seemed to chill her, even while they were filled with the warmth of siblinghood.  It was almost as if he had walked in on her in an awkward moment, like she might be pressing her hands against her flesh, lips kissing . . . Her face flushed lightly as thoughts ran rampant through her mind, although she kept her head turned to keep her numbskull brother from catching hints at things that should remain unknown to his knowledge for a long time.  Cause . . . she just called, wondering if you were online or something.  Told her Id come and check.

R-really?  Her words were strained, and she remained still, unsure if she should move more than an what her twitching fingers would allow.  I was, uh . . . I was going to- to message her now, Kai, so . . .  Her head turned slightly, pasting what she hoped would seem as a relaxed smile.  In all effects, she was far from that- she just didnt want him knowing.  Tell her-

A lie?  She smiled harder despite the fact that her heart thudded in her chest in fear, wondering if it was indeed possible to be in as much trouble as she felt she was already.  He stood leaning against the doorway, watching her with careful eyes, never once letting anything more than curiosity and brotherly love cross his eyes.

He shrugged, watching as his hands moved behind his head, gazing at the top of the doorframe with boredom.  Like always, he knew what she was asking him, and she prayed upon all that was holy (or digital) that he didnt know her thoughts, lewd or otherwise.  Nothing, I guess.  He pushed himself from the frame with his back, launching himself slowly into his usual walking speed.  Ill tell her for you.  He disappeared from her sight, and she allowed her body to lessen the tension that had occurred in the muscles upon her back.  She tensed as she heard him shout down the hall, wondering if she should run for cover or what.  Just message her quickly, alright?  Im going to a gig later with the guys- last I need is her calling me, saying that you arent upholding your friend duties or whatever.

Alright! she shouted back to him, the strain gone once more from her aching back.

Slowly, she turned back to the computer to enlarge the screen to how it had once been, gazing again at the soft, caring eyes of her best friend, wondering mildly what it would be like to gaze in them instead of the photo she seemed very comfortable with taking her attention from the real thing.  Shaking her head, she heaved a sigh, knowing that it was best to keep it all a secret from her, from everyone, and there was no changing that.

Nikki, message her already!  Jeez. she heard her brother shout down the hallway, and she could picture him holding the phone in his hand as he yelled at her from afar.

Laughing as she grimaced, she clicked out of the window and into the instant messaging device.  Her fingers typed in the address, sending out a single and short word of greeting while so many more lingered inside of her, begging for release from that prison in her throat.  She received a quick reply, an internet bear hug, and questions about her whereabouts for the last few moments.  Smiling, she kept the words that burrowed inside, answering lightly what questions she would answer.  She knew she would rather live with the lie than lose her over . . . over . . . over a silly little crush.

At least, that was what she kept telling herself.