Yuppers, a careless and free-spirited person, such as myself, is having a rather bothersome conflict. For starters, for those who don't know, I go to a catholic school, unfortunately, and to make matters worst, I think I might be into the same sex. Now, something like that combined with thousands of girls wearing skorts doesn't help, but that's not the problem. I am not catholic, but I do believe in a "greater being," and therefore, I'm more optimistic on life. I don't care what other people do or who they are, as long as they respect me and my beliefs, then we're cool. Probably meaningless details, but I'm building up to what is wrong.
Just this past friday, I was chilling with my friends at the mall. I thought it was going to be our usual hang out, but then they started to invite their girlfriends or boyfriends, which eventually lead to them making out practically everywhere. I'm cool with public displays of affection, but being there felt awkward, and I guess I was becoming...jealous. I'm not in a rush to get into a relationship, and I have had a bad experience previously, but I longed to be amongst them. I've had my offers from guys, but it still remains that I'm trying to figure out my sexuality. As much as I want to see what it's like to be with a girl, as I said, I'm kind of scared to get into a relationship. That, and it's kind of difficult to do so in my school let alone my city.
I've tried talking to the school's counselor, and she tried to convince me that I was being possessed or something like that. My friends know I'm confused, but they don't know what to say. As for my family, my sisters know, but they don't know either, and my parents...I'm kind of scared to even ask them. They're not homophobs, they even said that they don't care who we go out with, as long as they treat us right, but that doesn't make it any less nerve-wrecking.
So here's my question...WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!?!? I'm not good at making decisions such as this!!! @_@ It basically comes down to my sexuality and if I want to indulge in a relationship, but it's so friggin hard. At least to me it is. I don't know if my situation makes any sense, but please try to help. I'm losing my mind over this whole thing!
Oh, and happy holidays and a happy new year to all!
-- Edited by oOThundah MonkeeOo at 22:45, 2007-12-25
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"Triple word score, H-E-R-P-E-S!" -Ashley Davis[SON] (Mandy Musgrave)
The simple matter of all of this is that you still seem to be unsure about things. If you're not sure, you're best not getting involved with anyone right now. Sort things out. If you notice girls that way, chances are you like them sexually too, but that isn't always true.
Take me, now and then I notice a cute guy. At the same time, however, the thought of having sex with a guy isn't a pleasant thought for me. If you can thinking about doing sexual things with another girl and find it pleasant, you're most likely into them. In fact, I would think that's a clear indication that you like girls in a sexual way.
That doesn't mean you're not into guys, though. Remember that bisexuality exists, too.
Thanks. Oddly, I never thought of any of that. Though I know bisexuality is an option, how can I choose it until I've tried both sides? But, I think I need to just let go of the fear of having another bad relationship. Trust me, if I break something off, I want to make sure it's left on a good note. It's just so hard to get over that fear.
I don't know. It will take me a while, but it's getting annoying seeing romance everywhere. I just want to scream to some couples to just get a room, you know? XD Thanks again for the advice, and though I don't know if I'll follow through with it, it just felt good to get that off my chest. =^^= I wish they had some sort of Homosexual Support Group where I live. If they do, I need to find it!
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"Triple word score, H-E-R-P-E-S!" -Ashley Davis[SON] (Mandy Musgrave)
