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Post Info TOPIC: The Transsexual Online Conundrum
Nobody


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Date: Jan 29, 2008
The Transsexual Online Conundrum
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Don't worry, I'll be quick to explain this. Some of you may already know what I'm talking about. I assume that some people here have had past online forum experience. For a transsexual, we get stuck when it comes to the "gender" option in our profile. Also, how to have people refer to us.

Here's what happens:

Situation 1:
We introduce ourselves as our desired sex. People later find out that you're a transsexual--and they usually magically do--and call you a liar and you'll probably be banned or you'll be forced to leave because everyone hates you.

Situation 2:
We introduce ourselves as a transsexual, but then people tell us not to "advertise" or to "flaunt." It's our personal thing, so we shouldn't need to tell anyone who doesn't need to know. However, from the last Situation we know that doesn't work.

Situation 3:
We simply don't introduce ourselves as either sex. We just tell something about ourselves and then that's it. The problem? People start accusing you of being cold and not opening up to people. You tell people the truth, see Situation 1 for the rest.

So, in the end, being a transsexual just sucks both online and offline. We can't get a break. No matter what we do, we "offend" someone, or we getting accused of doing something when all we want to do is mind our own business. People say I should keep the fact I'm a trassexual to myself, but then I can't keep it to myself at the same time because then I'm being cold or we're chased away like a monster.

Rawr!

-- Edited by Nobody at 00:22, 2008-01-29

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Light_side


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Wow so this is what happens my cousin goes through this too see what i dont get is that some lesbians get angry when they are judge by liking the same sex if we font like being judge then we should not judge others

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LadyTwilight


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Date: Jan 29, 2008
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Gah, Nobody, this has happened to you? Argh, people are dumb! *big hug* I've never been outed on a forum, but then, I only post regularly on this and one other forum, so I'm probably the furthest judge...but I just can't help but be shocked... that's not /right/ for them to do, you're at least as human as they are! *big hug*

So all of the above situations have actually happened to you? How involved were you in the forum communities by that time? Are there any you're currently joined that haven't crumbled yet? Are there any friends that you'd still like to contact on those forums that you're unable to?
(sorry for the barrage, I'm curious ^^;;;)

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Nobody


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Date: Jan 29, 2008
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All of those situations have happened to me, yes. I really can't seem to win, unless the community is really cool--like this one. This has been one of the few communities that people haven't judged me for being transsexual.

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Doc


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Date: Jan 29, 2008
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Nobody I'd like to say I know what you're going through but I can't say it honestly. I feel really bad hearing how you've been treated. I wish there was some way I could help but all I have to offer are my sympathies. I really do wish that people wouldn't treat others like that.

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Shinda


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That is something that I will never understand about people. Why do you judge someone on what they are/believe/do/sex/whatever. As long as they are cool people and don't do anything that is harmful to other people. Then what is there to judge?  Nobody I am sorry you keep finding morons online. This is one of the Reasons I joined this Forum was because everyone is cool with everything and do not judge others. Don't get discouraged over the stupid and Ignorant people, you will find people who do understand or will try to and care for you and lift you up these are the people you want to surround yourself with. Take Care and know we all care about you.

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Doc


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Shinda wrote:

That is something that I will never understand about people. Why do you judge someone on what they are/believe/do/sex/whatever. As long as they are cool people and don't do anything that is harmful to other people. Then what is there to judge? Nobody I am sorry you keep finding morons online. This is one of the Reasons I joined this Forum was because everyone is cool with everything and do not judge others. Don't get discouraged over the stupid and Ignorant people, you will find people who do understand or will try to and care for you and lift you up these are the people you want to surround yourself with. Take Care and know we all care about you.



 I would just like to say. ditto. I totally agree



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darkside


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Date: Jan 29, 2008
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see what i think is really stupid is that some people in the gay communtity they judge harshly on the transexuals which i dont get

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Doc


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I know! it's mind boggling isn't it? I guess some people be they gay/straight/other think that you should stay with the gender you were born with for whatever reason. the doctor who used to supply my antidepressants actually had this view. when I told him I often thought about what'd it be like to be a girl he actually tried to talk me out of trying is because of an "increased suicide rate" for transsexuals. I was so pissed I never went back. I have since given up on the idea of becoming a girl but only because it wasn't for me. I tried and decided to stay the way I am. I still haven't gone back to that doctor and I never will.

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Kio kun


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Date: Feb 1, 2008
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Yeah, it feels like nobody supports transexuals (for some reason, that sounds like a bad pun ^^;;:)  This is why I've now decided to just stay a girl, that way my family won't disown me and my friends might stop avoiding me.

Online, even on gay/les/bi sites, trans-gender people are usually kicked out.  Live journal (which is supposed to be a place to express yourself) kicked me out/banned me before.

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Nobody


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The reason why there is a high suicide rate for transsexuals is because of idiots like your doctor, Doc. No offense. Also, most transsexuals that commit suicide are in the closet. Those who transition and make the change are much more likely to lead happy lives.

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Doc


Love Freak

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no offense taken as long as you weren't calling me the idiot, and I don't think you were. if as it reads you called my doctor an idiot I'm totally with you there. I should point out that he said (not me) the opposite of what you're saying that transsexuals are more likely to commit suicide after transition. Which I have to say is total bull. I would also like to note that as I previously stated I refuse to see him anymore and have requested my files transferred to another doctor.

I made an oath, a part of the personal code that runs my life to always help my brothers and sisters when they're in need.



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darkside


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Date: Feb 1, 2008
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why does everyone have to judge something that is diffrent its like they need to make excuse to judge people
i wish people get just get over that everyone is diffrent if we werent we would be robots

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Nobody


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Date: Feb 2, 2008
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Everyone judges, though. Everyone. You have preconceived notions about everyone before you meet them. Even when you learn every time that you were way off.

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Doc


Love Freak

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Date: Feb 2, 2008
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Nobody wrote:

Everyone judges, though. Everyone. You have preconceived notions about everyone before you meet them. Even when you learn every time that you were way off.


I am so going to use this quote for something I just know it.

 



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MalthusianCrisis


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Date: Feb 5, 2008
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I know exactly what you're talking about, Nobody. I mostly consider myself transgendered, and this has caused no end of communication problems both online and in person.

For those of you who don't know - and I assume a couple of you probably don't - to be transsexual and to be transgendered are two different things. Strictly speaking, transsexuals feel that they were born to the wrong biological sex, that their physical body isn't as it is supposed to be. Transgenders, on the other hand, usually feel comfortable in their physical body but feel constrained by traditional gender roles of what a "man" is or what a "woman" is and participate in "genderbending," or, taking on both men's and women's roles. They are sometimes - but not always - androgynous-looking or sounding and because of this, people tend to feel uncomfortable around them because they represent an "unknown."

Now that the vocabulary lesson is over... ^^;;

So yes, there's no magical "FTM" or "MTF" or "Unknown" option for most forums' profiles and it causes mass confusion, often anger, and most likely turmoil and angst in most situations. There's also no special option in the real world for drivers' licenses or tax forms, however, the last I heard there was a movement to alter this, as well as change certain government forms' layouts from "Husband's Name" or "Wife's Name" to simply "Spouse's Name" for those of us who do not conform to the "norm."

And that's quite a long enough post, methinks.

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Doc


Love Freak

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Date: Feb 5, 2008
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I'm sure we could have a lengthy discussion on Transsexual vs Transgender and I'd still use the words interchangeably for the rest of my life not because I'm in any way prejudiced against your or nobody or Kio but because the words are so diabolically similar I'd never get them right. and as to the goverment forms I wish you the best of luck however I also add don't hold your breath. some people are just like that. I'm not defending it I'm just bitter.

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Crys Tesaya


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Date: Apr 9, 2010
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I've been in Situation 2 too many times to count sadly disbelief

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Major-HXH


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Date: Apr 12, 2010
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Now I read this topic ( a big part of the forum is unknown by me) I should say that the three situations also fit to gay people's life.

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gappiee


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Date: Apr 13, 2010
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wow you know, i never saw this either...... =/
anyway i think youll always meet the most stupid ppl on the internet simply because thats where the highest concentration of people is. and the "nice" or more accepting people you have to know where to look or be lucky because well its a minority. (not like that minority is perfect, but that would make it boring wouldnt it?)

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