Please read, I really need help

Setsuna · Lurker

Please read, I really need help

LadyTwilight · Senior Member

I, uh, totally wish I had any clue on advice to give you here, buuut...I don't really have much experience in relationships myself. But I wanna give you a reply just to let you know that the forumites here'll probably come storming in after me with some advice, given a day or two (which may seem like an eternity to you, I'm afraid...), so just sit tight if you can~!

*hug* If nothing else, you've got at least two ears listening, and my vote of support!

-LT

Nobody · Moderator

I feel your confusion by just reading that message. Honestly, if you don't know for sure is someone likes you, the best thing to do is to pay attention to them. How do they act around you? Are they trying to impress you? Do they like being a little too affectionate with you? Things like that.

Setsuna · Lurker

Well she always says i'm cute, she always puts her arm around me when i'm standing next to her, and when we are picking characters she always picks one that seems like they like my character...ya i'm so confused, and i think i might have hurt her telling her i was in love with tam....i hate hurting my friends...GOD I'M SO CONFUSED! *hits head on the wall*

Twedz · Lurker

Hmmmm well I'll try help. Well you say your in love with your friend, well, you should just ask. bring it up like say, invite her over and when she does it ask her seriously. Lets see, well if your dad'll diisowns you, maybe you should keep it on a need to know basis, if your mom can be trusted to keep it a secret try to tell her.

Now T is the one you love right? Well if they ARE straight, try not to do anymore, things will only get messy, if A really loves you tho (I advise cheaking too) Then you should give it a shot if you fell the same way at all.

As for your boyfriend, if your feelings for your friends is that strong maybe you shuould ask for some time to think things over. Who knows, maybe its just a crush but if its more you might have to.

Well theres my advise. Excuse me, I need to blink now. *Wanders of.*

NekoMeow · Lurker

Setsuna wrote:

Well she always says i'm cute, she always puts her arm around me when i'm standing next to her, and when we are picking characters she always picks one that seems like they like my character...ya i'm so confused, and i think i might have hurt her telling her i was in love with tam....i hate hurting my friends...GOD I'M SO CONFUSED! *hits head on the wall*

:

: so tired....aw,yes..

Same thing with me & my friend, kinda....

But I think my advice for you is: wait for the right moment....(you know, like when you are in a comfortable setting with her, and you 2 are alone)
Then break it lightly that u like her, or maybe even hint at it. If she responds positivly then there is a good chance she's willing to give u a try-- don't forget if you still have alot more romantic feelings towards guys, you might be Bisexual or just may of not found the "Mr. Right" yet. aww

But the major thing- don't worry so much about this-- It tends to make the one u like jump to bad conclutions when u go all distant on her. hmm

hope this was in someway helpful from a girl writing after an all-nighter computer sestion. yawn

(5am)

Setsuna · Lurker

Ok, holy crap! my friend A just told T how i felt about her!!!!!! SAVE ME!!!!

Nobody · Moderator

This is perhaps the worst situation you could find yourself in. Don't panic! The best thing to do is get somewhere private with her and fess up. If you do that, she probably won't get angry. If she doesn't like you back, she could get a little weirded out, though.

The worst thing you can do is confront everyone and publicly denounce your feelings.

Setsuna · Lurker

i talked to her, she says she isnt mad and that she wants me to hang out with her this weekend....She still hasnt said whether she likes me the same way yet >

Nobody · Moderator

This weekend will probably be further discussion about this topic. Try not to freak out. If you do, she will. I imagine that you're worrying a lot right now, but try your best to relax.

I can draw two conclusions right now:

1. She likes you and might take this weekend to tell you. It's only fair now that she knows about your feelings.

2. She's going to try to get things back to the way they were.

Now, you should use this week to think about your boyfriend and talk to him. It might come down to that dreaded choice: him or her.

Setsuna · Lurker

thanks, and i'm going to try to talk to her soon to see if i can get any hints towards what she'll do this weekend, and the deal with my boyfriend, i personally dont think he really likes me, its just if he brakes up with me my friends will seriously hurt him....i'm thinking that if it comes down to the choice 'him or her' i'll go for her cuz i know i can trust her and she's always saying that she'll always be there for me.

Graves · Active Member

Well since your friend isn't completely ditching you that's a good sign! There's not to say that hasn't already been said so good luck! I hope things turn out well.

Setsuna · Lurker

Thank you all, I'll update as things go on, but once again thank you guys for helping me out ^^

Setsuna · Lurker

ok i talked to her and she...she told me she asked this guy out >.>...then i almost started crying and she kept asking me what was wrong and i wouldnt tell her...now i feel like crap so i'm going to go cry now...*walks away*

Nobody · Moderator

Perhaps she isn't fully comprehended what is really going on or she's trying to make things go back to the way they were. Unfortunately, you can't go back. I think you realize that too.

Setsuna · Lurker

I think shes mad at me now cuz i told her she shouldnt go out with this guy, becuz, she had gone out with him previously and almost everyday she'd cry, most of the time she'd tell me she wanted to kill herself and i hate seeing her like that...I dont know if he said yes yet tho'....and yeah i know i cant go back, she hinted towards the fact that she liked me like that but she said that it would never be the same if we did try it like that, and i told her that its already too late for everything to be the same now.

Nobody · Moderator

It sucks, I know... But... Yeah, nothing will be the same again between you two. It'll probably continue to be awkward for quite some time if you don't explore your feelings for each other.

Also, if this guy treated her that badly, then she shouldn't go out with him. That should be obvious. Maybe she's just jumping back with this guy to try to ignore the stuff that's going on with you. Either way, it's a bad idea on her part.

Setsuna · Lurker

I feel like i'm alone in this situation cuz my friend A wont talk to me and i always go to her for help, and shes not there for me when i need her now, she wont pick up the phone, nor will she get online when i'm on, T is online everyday so everyday we get into that akward conversation. Also noone other than A and T know about this...well you guys know, but i mean like family and my group wise. Now i'm really upset thinking i just screwed up her life, and whenever i hurt my friends i wanna hurt myself, so i'm kind of having a tough time dealing, and i only have this forum to get my feelings out...so you guys are helping me deal alittle here, so thanks alot.

Nobody · Moderator

Well, I'm glad I'm helping even a little bit. I'm trying my best at giving advice, but I don't know if it's any good.

Setsuna · Lurker

Its helping me, and i'm greatful for the advice, so I wont lie to you i do want her to go out with me but she thinks it'll ruin the friendship we had...also that would mean the rumours going around the schools about us dateing would be true...I dont know what to do anymore, i'm tempted to just tell her straight off that i think i'm better for her than that other boy...but i dont wanna be selfish and being selfish makes me dislike myself more...and believe me i dont more of that -_-

Graves · Active Member

I'd hate for her to go back out with him if he mad her cry and say she wanted to kill herself. He doesn't seem to nice D8 I dunno maybe I'm wrong but if he made her feel like that before I might try to stop her or have her re-think it.

Setsuna · Lurker

I tried to tell her that he was just going to hurt her again but she wouldnt listen to me...i hate it when she does that -_- i should find out if he said yes or not sometime tonight...either way one of us will cry...

Nobody · Moderator

Setsuna, love is kinda selfish. Think about it. You're saying that a person is for you and only you. That's a pretty selfish thing. The way you are describing things, you already see this girl as your girlfriend.

Setsuna · Lurker

I know i sound selfish, and i'm sorry i really hope she never sees this post, but i dont really think of her as my girlfriend but we do kinda act like it...but what i'm trying to say is that she needs to find someone that truely loves her.....even if it isnt me i just hope she is happy with the person she choses...I will tell you right now that if she goes out with this boy, if he breaks her heart i'll break his face...sorry i'm alittle over protective....>.> i really dont mean to sound like i'm being selfish so i'm sorry for that...

Setsuna · Lurker

i'm just gunna give up, i'll leave her life alone and just be on the sidelines trying to protect her like always

Graves · Active Member

*patzorz* Sorry this isn't turning out to well for joo....But ya know you don't have ta leave her life alone? Even if she's making a stupid desicion you can still be her friend and help her out when she needs help and stoof. Just make sure you're doing what you think is best too.

*hugzorz*

Setsuna · Lurker

well i'm going to hang out with her this weekend, i'll update on what happens after that, and thanks Graves ^^

Setsuna · Lurker

OK, this weekend confused me more...T was leaning on me the whole time, and picking on me, she even wanted to give me a piggy-back-ride...But that kinda got ruined by A cuz she said, 'Ya get on her...RIDE HER!' heheh T wasnt too happy about that, and i was covering my face, cuz i was blushing -.-. Then the guy T asked out (she still hasnt gotten an answer yet) came and made a rude comment about me, me and A tried to kill him, but after i chased him off i stood in the middle of the road and T saw a car comming and pushed me away and i grabed hold of her and took her with me to the ground. She sorta landed square ontop of me on the side of the road (and no the car didnt hurt us or anything it just passed by), she looked at me and just stared at me until my arm started to bleed then she freaked out, but i think she was going to kiss me...

Doc · Love Freak

Hmmm interesting...
I can't give any advice on this unfortunately

I'd wait a bit and let things play out for a while
I say wait for her to show a bit more of her hand

shadix · Lurker

it really seems like she was wandering what to do. i say just give it time and see what happens, thats all you really can do. if she likes you then she likes you, if not then the best you can do is be there for her no matter what she does, don't expect anything to happen. best of luck to you and friend T.

Nobody · Moderator

Things seem a bit tense right now, but everyone is just as confused as you are. It's possible that your friend has never liked another girl before, so she's really confused right now.

Doc · Love Freak

True True. but as I said let things play out a while

shadix · Lurker

i agree with Doc