After so many months of lurking this little section and reading posts on other people relationships I've finally built up the courage to type this litte thing up...
So theres this girl who has my fourth period 3D Animation class and my 6th period Gym..I really like her. It feels weird though, because I think she's straight but she keeps throwing out these signals that eventually leave me uncomfortable (its hard to describe this uncomfortable feeling, I think its more like it makes me feel more shy and nervous around her..which is something completely different and its making this confusing xD). At one point in my fourth period class I actually sat next to her, she would always give me this cute smile and say "oh, hello there!" At times I'd catch her staring at me and she'd quickly turn and look away.
We don't sit next to each other anymore, but sometimes I end up looking at her and finding her looking at me, and we'll be staring at each other for some time before we realize whats going on, and I'd look in another direction as if I was looking for something in the class room (I like to draw, so I usually draw things I see in class).
She's talked to me quite a few times, but simple discussions that seem to end too soon and in awkward silence, I hate it when I do that too but I stop talking to her because I feel like at any second I could start to feel comfortable around her, and I might accidentally blurt out that I like her and then ruin things completely. For instance, somehow I managed to squeeze in that I was in the school's gay-straight alliance and that I was going to participate in the Day of Silence, then she replied with a "Oh, can I participate too then?" and then she started asking me what we did in the GSA, I had a feeling she was gonna ask the obvious question, 'are you gay' but one of her friends pulled her away.
But what brings me to think that maybe she's not into girls is the fact that she's always surounded by guys asking her to dances, she even went to Sadies with this one guy (they ended up not talking to eachother again after that though.).
I hate this though, not being able to confess for fear of what this could end up doing to what we have right now, but I get so jealous and frustrated. I keep telling myself that there are other fish in the sea, but this keeps bugging me.
Edit: I'm just gonna refer to her as "J" because I feel so weird calling her "this girl" and sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, I'm trying to rush this cuz I'm going to bed soon.
yea just based on what you said I'm sure you've got at least a small shot you might try talking to her about the GSA again as she's already expressed an interest. maybe thats where you can find some common ground.
__________________
Anger, Jealousy, Loneliness, these are the emotions that consume ones heart and destroy ones soul, my heart cannot soar for it is eternally wingless...
Why not ask her first? I mean its what I'd do. Tho then again I am as blunt as a hammer to the skull. Well I think its worth a try anyway. If she asks why then you can say you just curious, or you could tell her, from what you say she seems genuinly interested in it.
__________________
When I was a child I spoke like a child, thought like a child, felt like a child. Now that I've become a man, i have to pack away childish things.
Cool if you ever need anything know my IM addresses are in my profile so if you ever need to talk or what ever I'm usually around
__________________
Anger, Jealousy, Loneliness, these are the emotions that consume ones heart and destroy ones soul, my heart cannot soar for it is eternally wingless...
Im also a lesbian, but I have only like 2 female friends and 3457804580438 1/2 male ones.
I would have suggested the same thign: Shes been trying to start conversations with you, why don't you start some with her? If she likes you, it might make her very happy. =]
__________________
I Still Remember The Smile When You Tore Me Apart.
Okay, so on Friday I was told that "J" liked me, I was so excited that I nearly choked on my coco puffs (I mean seriously, it was lunch and I still had my breakfast in my backpack). So I went to J and talked a bit.
However, it wasn't until after lunch that the same person who told me J liked me came up to me and told me that my friend with the same name was the one he was talking about.
It was a total "YEAH...oh" moment, but I feel like an ******* now, because I told the friend that likes me about the person that I like, but I didn't give her any names, I just said that there was someone I liked...the sad part is she had this strange expression on her face, I always just assumed that she was happy that I was over my previous horrible break up.
Of course I liked her too over the first few weeks of school, but I always assumed she was straight...so I always grabbed other people in an attempt to make her jealous.
So now J #1 knows of my crush on her, and J #2 is apparently crushing on me. J #1 just smiled and nodded during the whole convo. So I don't think she really knows what to do with me. Now I need to talk to J #2 though.
