Why can't people seem to understand?

Susanah · Master Member

Why can't people seem to understand?

LadyTwilight · Senior Member

People in a wide sense love labels and putting them on things, annoyingly. Though it's a trope, I wouldn't exactly say the phenomenon is in any societal-sense of public eye. Of people that don't have to deal with situations like it or haven't already read stories or fiction involving it, it's not a concept I'd expect a person to be pre-prepared for, so they'll try to fit the situation into their schema the best way--which ends up square-peg-round-hole. It's this point, the forcing-into-understood-terms part that someone needs to actively break and say "Make new space to understand this, this is different."

Maybe you could explain that, when it gets down to it, saying something is gay or bi is summarizing something to a very basic degree, and is descriptive--'gay' covers a wide range of gay people that all have different hearts and opinions and lives--and not perscriptive, and does not, as a word, force a meaning upon something (so they're using it wrong).

After all, if a lesbian is someone who's attracted to girls, and these two are attracted to guys, and this one person they love happens to be a girl instead, that's pretty a pretty off description to try and use!

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I'm not sure how much you or she have had in contact with people that don't get it, but it seems like the entire thought of "It's you, you're my special exception," and simply introducing them to the concept in a simple, teaching way /might/ work, but if they actively reject what one of you is trying to inform them, um, I'm not sure what to do but leave the situation and secretly scorn them for the rest of your life? Try linking them to TVTropes?

Of course, explaining it to every single person that jumps to a gaybipan conclusion could get old in short order... Anyway, I hope I made sense!

CyganAngel · Senior Member

Think of it this way.

Being attracted to a girl: A dollop of white paint in a bucket.

Being attracted to a boy: A dollop of black paint in a bucket.

Most people will only ever hav one colour of paint in their buckets. I, for example, would only ever have white paint in the bucket.

But if I ever fell for a man (ha) then my white paint would, from then on, be coloured grey. No matter how much more white paint I pour in; nor matter if I never put another dollop of black paint in there again; my paint would always be coloured grey.

Having a bucket of one colour = being eclusively heterosexual/homosexual.

Having a grey bucket = being bi/pan/whatever.

(Not the best analogy, or even a good one, but what do you expect from a sick girl?)

(Also; I'm not saying that that is how I view it. I dont. But that's how most people view it.)

gappiee · Guru

... alright im rather confused now... i dont seem to get what the problem is, is this about ppl labeling others?
and the paint thing is quite clear to me =O

Susanah · Master Member

Yes, this is about people labelling to "understand" when all they relly do is saying paint is the same as pencils (or some other example).
I have quite a lot against labelling such as that you see, as I was constantly labelled "emo" and other stuff, and I still have "different" friends too (yes, in this small social circle, "normal" is an insult ;P)

-- Edited by Susanah on Monday 6th of December 2010 12:14:27 PM

gappiee · Guru

hmm i think being "normal" would be bad for anyone .... it makes people boring... and normal people dont exist.

and the labeling people do is simply to make the unknown into something know to make it less scary, its something every one does, some just label differently. I just label everyone "Human" <= usually not dangerous, quite unpredictable and a little disappointing most of the time. i know this sounds bad but i am not really this negative when meeting new people.

i think people just need to be able to make smaller boxes, they cant see humanity as one thing.

the question why this is i cant answer, but it probably comes from evolution and survival.... =/

edit: had to edit because it somehow didnt post my whole text =(

-- Edited by gappiee on Tuesday 7th of December 2010 08:05:36 PM

Susanah · Master Member

Yeah, but the problem is that people can't seem to keep their prejudices to themselves, they have to spread 'em as far and as much as possible...R for example, got a bullied on a festival, just randomly called "****ing lesbian" by people she'd never seen before, for no apparent reason. Granted, it may have had something to do with the "festival marriage" thing where she and LS (yeah, that's a girl too) kissed once for fun. The festival marriage and many other such things there were just fun ways to raise money for a good purpose. This year though, me and G said we'd either beat or scare those who tried to pin anything like that on her, and that's true, we would. Such things like this should never happen, and thus I've once again come to the conclusion people suck.
(I also admitted to R yesterday that I am in love with her, and she was a bit surprised, especcially when she asked how long and I told her las winter festival, which is a little over ten months now...wish me luck on not ruining anything? :))

gappiee · Guru

that is bad... some ppl should just mind their own busyness even when the thought of having someone that is different from them on the same planet makes em wanna hide in a corner and cry bleh

Susanah · Master Member

Yeah, this year she is going to travel with our TenSing, so I'll have a better chance to be there if anyone tries anything. Also, is it a good or a really bad plan if people try to bully her that same way again and I say something like; "want to accuse a lesbian? Well hey, I'm free. Now **** off and if you try anything on her again, you'll be nothing but a heap on the floor."

gappiee · Guru

whats a TenSing? eeeuh depends on her response i think... and first try asking nicely: could you guys please **** off and mind your own buisness?

Susanah · Master Member

TenSing is a YMCA-YWCA thing, a Christian choir for youth, all are accepted there. Mostly, it is a past-time where you sing and meet people, and we have festivals we are free to attend =)

gappiee · Guru

aah sounds nice =)